Death Ray

 

Would you believe a friend of mine had a similar plan using a time machine which involved cloning. What an idiot! I had to patiently explain to him that while he was dealing with the messy detail of cloning I would have zipped back, beaten my on ass, hooked up with the girl, and collapsed this time line. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times, “Leave this stuff to Evil Geniuses. It’s not for amateurs.”

So what’s a guy to do with all these frustrations life throws at you? The obvious answer to everything is a Death Ray.

While surfing for death rays I ran across another Evil Genius. Greg Bulmash has the blog Brain Handles and from reading his blog it’s apparent to me that we share a similar warped sense of humor. Below is a small sample from “Have You Tried Rebooting The Death Ray.” It’s worth a visit and I think you will enjoy it.

ACME Weapons Systems would like to thank you for holding. We appreciate your patience. Your estimated wait time is thirty eight minutes. This call may be recorded for training purposes. Please hold for the next available representative.

Brad: Thank you for calling ACME Weapons Systems tech support. My name is Brad, how may I help you today?

Schmerz von Evilstein: Yeah, I ordered your Giant Death Ray off of Amazon last week. It got here yesterday, I set it up, and it’s not working right.

Brad: What seems to be the problem?

Schmerz von Evilstein: I just fired it at Switzerland to prove my evil intent to the United Nations and it fizzled. According to observers on the ground, 3 chickens exploded, a goat lost its equilibrium, and a farmer had a burning sensation when he peed… though I can’t be sure we’re responsible for that last one.

Brad: Have you tried rebooting the death ray?

Click Have You Tried Rebooting The Death Ray to continue.

By the way Greg needs an Evil Lair click here to help.

Well I’m back on the time travel kick. Maybe Uncle Rico didn’t have any luck with his Hyper Dimensional Resonator but maybe your luck will be better. Probably just got the quantum fluctuations out of phase. 

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised but I was amazed that there is a ton of information on the Internet about this device.

The text below is from the catalog listing for the device at Future Horizons inc. Future Horizons product listing includes Anti-Gravity, Psionics, Time Travel, Ufo and believe or not Strange Science. That should make you visit the site just to see what they call Strange.

This Hyper-Dimensional Resonator hooks up to the head of the user and by setting the dial, it will allow it’s user to spontaneously astral project. And once your able to astral project, you can travel in space and time either to the future or the past. This is no joke!! Plugs into a normal 110 volt outlet.

Here’s a little picture puzzle for you. Can you pick out why England can’t win the World Cup? The mind refuses to imagine what the USA problem looks like.

WORLD CUP FANS

I bet a lot of you have breathed in helium and then laughed at the cartoon like change it made in your voice. Sulphur hexafluoride is a heavy gas that has just the opposite effect. Take a look at the video below to see it in action.

Below is an auction for a Time Machine on the Trade ME auction site in New Zealand. Be sure to read the Questions and Answers. Looks like the Kiwis had a good bit of fun with this one.

Reserve met    |   Closed: 6:40 pm, Sat 1 Oct 2005