HAVE YOU TRIED REBOOTING THE DEATH RAY?

Posted on July 31, 2008 by LT in Humor, Science

Death Ray

Death Ray

 

After surfing the net for a couple of days and reading about various schemes for time travel ranging from worm holes to astral travel. It became clear that the chances of going back and hooking up with that dream girl are pretty slim. 
 
Too bad.
I had a pretty good plan too which involve primarily going back and threaten to beat my young self’s ass.

 

Would you believe a friend of mine had a similar plan using a time machine which involved cloning. What an idiot! I had to patiently explain to him that while he was dealing with the messy detail of cloning I would have zipped back, beaten my on ass, hooked up with the girl, and collapsed this time line. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times, “Leave this stuff to Evil Geniuses. It’s not for amateurs.”

 

So what’s a guy to do with all these frustrations life throws at you? The obvious answer to everything is a Death Ray.

 

While surfing for death rays I ran across another Evil Genius. Greg Bulmash has the blog Brain Handles and from reading his blog it’s apparent to me that we share a similar warped sense of humor. Below is a small sample from “Have You Tried Rebooting The Death Ray.” It’s worth a visit and I think you will enjoy it.

 

ACME Weapons Systems would like to thank you for holding. We appreciate your patience. Your estimated wait time is thirty eight minutes. This call may be recorded for training purposes. Please hold for the next available representative.

Brad: Thank you for calling ACME Weapons Systems tech support. My name is Brad, how may I help you today?

 

Schmerz von Evilstein: Yeah, I ordered your Giant Death Ray off of Amazon last week. It got here yesterday, I set it up, and it’s not working right.

 

Brad: What seems to be the problem?

 

Schmerz von Evilstein: I just fired it at Switzerland to prove my evil intent to the United Nations and it fizzled. According to observers on the ground, 3 chickens exploded, a goat lost its equilibrium, and a farmer had a burning sensation when he peed… though I can’t be sure we’re responsible for that last one.

 

Brad: Have you tried rebooting the death ray?

 

Click Have You Tried Rebooting The Death Ray to continue.

 

By the way Greg needs an Evil Lair click here to help.

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